No ane tin can answer that question but you, and there's a lot to consider. This decision involves a lot of thought, such as planning when to stop using birth control, determining how much time to take off piece of work, and figuring out if you tin still afford childcare.

Some say deciding to take a second child is even harder than deciding whether to have a first because yous're not just talking near having a babe – you're talking virtually irresolute a family dynamic.

With each new kid, y'all take to think about how that baby will touch your lifestyle, finances, work, relationships, and, of course, your other kids. And if y'all listen to what other parents say, expanding your family by i could more double your workload.

Of class, simply about anybody – from doctors and scientists to your friends and neighbors – has an opinion on baby timing and the ideal family size. Weigh the pros and cons so make your own conclusion.

Here are some things to consider before you welcome a new baby into your life.

When is the best time to have another kid?

Some couples adopt to wait at least several years. That mode, your other kids go plenty of individual attending from yous and are erstwhile enough to comprehend how another kid will change things. Others see a benefit to having children shut together so they tin can be playmates – and and so yous won't exist raising small-scale children for years and years.

Here's what some BabyCenter moms have to say:

  • "My ii boys are three and a half years autonomously, and I retrieve that spacing is great," says Susan, an executive at a publishing company. "Since my older son was out of diapers past the time the younger one was born, I could autumn in love with the thought of having a baby over again. And they're clearly in different social and developmental arenas, and so I don't meet a lot of sibling rivalry. They really savour each other."
  • "My iii oldest children are about a yr and a half apart, and though it was tough when they were all babies, in many ways it was great," says Barbara, a geriatric therapist. "They actually amused each other and have stayed very close. I'm one of four children myself, and I really wanted to recreate that big family unit feeling."
  • "My starting time 2 are iii and a half years apart. That gave me time with the firstborn alone," says Janet, an ad copywriter who is pregnant with her third child. "I think the older the child the improve because they're that much more independent and can mentally and emotionally handle the infant.
  • "In some ways, I wish in that location was a bigger age gap between my second child and the new baby – they're just two years apart. I'm dreading having ii in diapers at the same time. And I'm worried virtually the concrete challenge of having two who need so much fourth dimension."

woman talking

How many kids should you have? Come across what other parents retrieve.

What does the research say?

In terms of the children's relationships with their parents, sibling rivalry, and their own self-esteem, Jeannie Kidwell, a former professor of family unit studies at the Academy of Tennessee in Knoxville, says the all-time time to take another infant is either when your first is younger than 1 or older than iv. Babies who aren't however 1 don't have a sense of their sectional status, and so they're less apt to resent a newcomer, she says. And children older than 4 accept had time to bask attention from Mommy and Daddy – plus, they're now involved in activities of their own.

When it comes to the health of your babe, waiting two or three years before you get pregnant again may tip the odds somewhat in your baby's favor.

Studies suggest that getting pregnant within 18 months after your starting time child is born tin can make it more likely that your second child volition be born early, underweight, or smaller than usual for the number of months he was in the womb.

Enquiry as well suggests that if you get pregnant within 12 months of giving birth, you may be at higher run a risk of placental abruption and, if you previously had a c-section, placenta previa.

If all this sounds confusing, let's put it in perspective. Researchers don't know for sure why waiting a short time between pregnancies raises certain risks, just they have some ideas.

One is that the mother's body needs time to replenish vitamins and nutrients earlier giving nascence over again. And so whether yous're pregnant, program to go pregnant, or want to expect, see your doctor early on to get the right care and advice, eat a balanced diet, accept prenatal vitamins with folic acid, and keep your body as healthy as yous can.

So waiting longer is the way to go, correct? Peradventure.

It turns out that waiting more than five years to accept your 2d child is also less than platonic. Some studies evidence that low birth weight, preterm nativity, and smaller size are more likely in babies whose moms let five years or more than pass before they become pregnant, and the mothers are at higher risk of developing preeclampsia

What else should I consider when making the decision?

Science doesn't dictate all the choices we make, of course, so here are another problems to take into account:

Your lifestyle

Are you settled into a nice routine with your other children? Exercise you have a skilful childcare organisation prepare? Is anybody else finally sleeping through the night? Possibly you lot've gotten to the point where you and your partner have fourth dimension for each other again. Maybe yous've gone back to piece of work and you love it.

These are all of import factors when y'all're thinking of having some other. Call back, a newborn will take over your life. Consider whether you accept the fourth dimension and free energy an baby requires, and whether your children are ready to deal with the reality of a baby in the house.

Your financial situation

Money isn't everything, but it certainly helps when y'all're raising a family. According to the latest authorities estimates, it can cost more than $10,000 a year to feed, clothe, house, and go along a child good for you. (And that's a conservative number for many parts of the country.) It's a good idea to have room in your monthly upkeep before yous excogitate another child.

Consider your work situation also. Many women find it harder to keep up with total- or office-time work once the second or 3rd child comes forth. Can you afford to quit piece of work if that seems all-time or to pay for the new baby'due south childcare if you lot go on your job?

"My daughter is almost 4, and we oasis't had another yet because we're worried well-nigh affording everything," says Stephanie, a higher lecturer. "Nosotros didn't take much money when nosotros had our first, so we know what it's like non to have the resource to pay for things. That's why we want to be meliorate prepared for the side by side 1. Money is a huge consideration because of childcare costs."

"The other big thing is career. I stayed with my daughter her whole showtime year. I would like to practice that with the second kid too. We want another – we're just not sure when. It already feels a little late to me."

Your age

Unfortunately, parental age matters, especially for women. If you're 38 and you desire two more than children, you probably don't have the luxury of spacing them 3 years autonomously. But if you lot're younger than 30 and don't have any health issues that could make formulation difficult, yous tin exist a petty more than flexible. (Learn more than about your chances of getting pregnant at different ages.)

Talk virtually the age question with your partner: Many people have a vision of how sometime they want to be when they're finished having children.

Your outlook

Do you and your partner agree? Sometimes one partner is fix and the other isn't. It'due south hard to be in sync all the time. This can be a tricky i to settle, only the first step is to start talking about your differences.

Sit down together and discuss your points of view. You may not resolve anything right away, simply yous'll have a better understanding of the issues. It might help to talk to others in this situation.

Your heart

Sure, you tin can sit down with a big legal pad and run through the pluses and minuses. Just this is one of those decisions that's led by the heart, then become ahead and listen to yours. If yous desire another baby, and your partner does besides, there may exist no time like the nowadays.

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